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I phoned the President of the United Shires, Brad Orbarma, last night. He said he was on the John, whatever that means. Probably some strange infidel homosexual custom. I congratulated him for supporting the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt against the military coup, for withdrawing military funding from the Egyptian army, for supporting the Muslim rebellion against President Assad in Syria, for supporting my struggle against the Brownie Rebellion in the village park and for giving me 22 billion dollars annually just to be his friend. I love that man. Bin Laden is dead but who needs him when we have Brad Orbarma working for the creation of the new World Caliphate. He is truly my bitch.