Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Day 44 - Lost in Time - the Erdoganikon Machine

The Grand Caliph of Little Tallyban and Greater Istanshire threw down a challenge to the village's cub scouts and brownie packs to design a new flag for their nation. The flag, said Thorn, should pay tribute to the old flag but should reflect the emerging character of the new nation. This is what the kiddies came up with - the winning entry ladies and gentlemen.


Thorn wrote: I am most impressed with the creativity of my school children in the Shires. They have told me that the banana is a symbol of myself, shining in the sky, enveloping this great nation of mine which is symbolised by the adjacent star. The banana is our image abroad, the yellow symbolizing our great justice system and the bravery of its leader -- that's me! I am so happy. They say I am like bananas. How cute! The red colour of the star symbolizes the blood spilled thus far to make this nation what it has become. How true!


My religious scientific advisors have been busy taking our country back through time. But like my favourite TV documentary, things have got a little fucked up. Instead of being transported to the Middle Ages our great nation has become stuck in Stalin's Russhire.


What a great opportunity! Here we are in revolutionary Russhire. My flunkies have been busy jailing everybody who has annoyed me during the last 10 years, just like Stalin. It's such fun. My show trial courts have now shown the world what true democratic justice is. This has been the just right of every great leader throughout history. Stalin, Hitler, Pinochet, Papa Doc, Brad Orbarma. Unfortunately cameras were banned and all the journalists in Istanshire were defendants so I didn't see what went on.  Note to self: Must be more open in the coming decades. The court cases would have been so popular on YouTube. No point in reading about it in the newspapers I control. They would just make it up.

Bugger! The villagers have started marching around with portraits of Joe Stalin in their hands chanting that they would rather have Stalin as a leader than me.  Sigh! Don't they have anything better to do than bitch about me ? Moan moan moan. All they do is moan. I should send out my police to start making random arrests in the village. That'll shut them up.

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