Friday, 23 August 2013

Day 54 - Tey-lee Plotter and the Burqas of Doom

The famous international financial advice service Gloomberg has accused the self-appointed Grand Caliph of Little Tallyban and Greater Istanshire of being "semi-unhinged". After reading it Thorn became completely unhinged and the metaphorical door is unlikely to be rehung any time soon, even with the finest medical psychiatric assistance money can buy. The toady who brought the article to Thorn's breakfast table on a silver platter has received his reward and is quietly dripping blood onto the floor with a kitchen knife handle protruding from his chest. Actually it's not quiet. Thorn is eating his breakfast while watching the dying man's convulsions.

Thorn writes: How could they utter these lies ? Everyone hates the Jews - even God and he is supposed to love everyone. I have got rid of the hookers from the streets of the village and the shire. Glad to see the end of those sluts.

Cringing Toady 2: Lord, we thought you said hookahs. We got rid of the bubble pipes in the village bars by making a $1,000 tax on them.

Thorn:  I am surrounded by fools. No wonder there are no more infidel tourists in the shires. I have called the housemaid to clear up the blood of both toadies and told her to dispose of the bodies.

The exchange rate for village tokens is now, thanks to Gloomberg and the hookah fuck-up, plunging on the international markets but I can turn it to my advantage. Since I am going to be kicked from office anyway I will leave the next prime minister with a ruined economy and the conditions will be ripe for an irreversible Masli revolution where my people gain power for ever!

It is time for bed and Mister Thorn likes to take a little light reading from his holy book, The Horny Kola.

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