The self-appointed Grand Caliph of Little Tallyban and Greater Istanshire, Tey Thorn, has not been seen in public in four days. The International Jewish Conspiracy has no-one to plot against and the rebellious riff-raff have all decided to make good on their Village People personas. They are all pretending that they are gay and have gone on a mass march to the village square in the hope of baiting the monster into saying something. Partying and having fun has so far achieved nothing but sore lips, an exchange of body fluids and in a few cases, herpes.
As confidant who is privvy to his innermost thoughts (such as they are) I know where he is. He is in hospital being treated by the few remaining unjailed doctors with serviceable limbs who are being made to help their evil despot at gunpoint. Outside the ward I managed to grab a few quick words with one of the medics who had been treating him. He spoke on condition of confidentiality.
Anonymous doc : Mister Thorn was found on a street corner wearing a dress and barking at traffic. We are treating him for rabies and this may explain his behavior in recent weeks. Alas, medicines from the European Empire are not allowed anymore for religious reasons. So we are treating him in the old fashioned way with extremely painful injections through the wall of the abdomen and into the stomach with a six inch needle. We doctors had a lottery who would get the job and I got the short straw. It was fantastic!
Beside Mister Thorn's hospital bed is a picture of his recent trip to Germanshire which looks very similar to this but is not because this is a completely different universe.
Thorn: My wife and I went shopping with the leader of the European Empire. Mrs Ferkel and my wife got on like a house on fire. Oh! What happy memories.