Showing posts with label chardor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label chardor. Show all posts

Tuesday, 17 September 2013

Day 70 - I Love the Smell of Teargas in the Morning




The State Religion of Masli Makes Women Free



The Grand Sphincter of Little Tallyban and Greater Istanshire Tey Thorn is thumbing through his photo albums.....




Thorn: I am so proud of my granddaughter who is now in faith school. She has given me her new annual class photo. She's the girl with the blond hair.

Later.....

Thorn: The village children spend their days taunting me and my Mayor of Wankara on the Internet using their infernal iPhones. He is indeed more than a few cards short of a full deck but that's part of his job description. Who in their right mind would want to be public servant to the village mob - at least without kickbacks?  And so I have once again declared war on those unholy Jewish dogs at Twitter. I have abandoned plans to found my own service - TurkTwatter -- because I ended up twatting to myself. Nobody listen to me, even on the Internet and that's fucking full of like-minded wackos.  I have just ordered 6,000 villagers to volunteer and create something called mind-bending hashbags on Twitter so that the world can see the good side of Greater Istanshire and not just the brutal public beatings cuddling of protesters by my plain-clothed policemen, the delightful mutilations body modifications, the justified murders unaccidental killings and the delicious terrible teargassing deaths. Oh #BOLLOCKS! Twat that!



Teargas clouds in the night sky over the Masli paradise of Little Tallyban, Istanshire


Thursday, 1 August 2013

Day 40 - The Babysitter from Hell







After numerous public relations gaffes (every time he opens his mouth in fact) Mister Thorn has been urged by the vicars to take time out and rediscover Family Life. The blunders -- too numerous to mention -- have transformed the self-styled Grand Caliph of  Little Tallyban and Greater Istanshire into an international symbol of  Stupid. Here we see him reading a bedtime fairy story with a moral message from the new state religion of Masli to a small child lying in her bed.

Thorn: Once upon a time ....

Child: Ooh I love stories that begin once upon a time Grandpa Tey!

Thorn: Once upon a time there was a young girl living far far away in a land called Shoddi-Arabia, the centre of our great religion. She was beautiful and her family treated her like a princess.

Child: Ooh I love stories about princesses!

Thorn: Her family sent her to an all girls school where she studied to be a scientist.

Child: Nasty boys not there!

Thorn: One day there was a nasty explosion and a great fire broke out!

Child: Oh no!

Thorn: But the girls all escaped unharmed through an emergency door.

Child: All safe!

Thorn: But the good religious police guarding outside saw that the girls were undressed.

Child: They were naked at school ?

Thorn: Yes the girls were very bad and had taken off their veils. So the good religious police made them return to the building to fetch their veils and then, to protect their modesty, locked the doors behind them. The girls became stuck in the building. It was terrible. There was screaming!

Child: Oh no!

Thorn: But the good firefighters came and saw that the girls were undressed and would not enter the building.

Child: But then the children escaped ?

Thorn: No they all burned to death.

Child: (begins weeping)

Thorn: So the moral of this tale is - never forget your veil! Five years later the great wise leaders of Shoddi-Arabia changed the law so that firefighters could enter girls' schools.

Child: So the children are okay ?

Thorn: No, still dead. But they died and went to heaven. And as you know, in our great religion, having many virgins in heaven as a reward for our religious fighters is very important.

To cheer you all up - here is a young lady showing her Masli piety by wearing a head scarf. As you can see, no man will be tempted because her hair is covered.





Okay, just for balance, let's look at a picture of a truly modestly dressed young Masli lady (below). As you can see, young men passing have no interest in sex at all.